Tuesday, November 28, 2017

Feeling Out of Sync

My life is out of sync. For some reason, the man or woman in charge of things upstairs decided that November would be a good time to mess with me. I'm not sure if they were bored or just looking for a little extra curricular fun, but for most of this month I've felt like I'm stuck in a never-ending episode of Punk'd, minus Ashton Kutcher (thank God).

It started a few weeks ago when the "check engine" light on our 2007 Ford Focus (aka "The Silver Bullet") lit up in all its dreaded yellow glory, and it's kind of snowballed from there. If I had a dollar for every time I've said "Oh, great" or "What the fuck?" to myself since this streak started, I wouldn't have to worry about money, which is something I worry about pretty much all the time. (Living paycheck-to-paycheck is even more challenging when you've been without a regular paycheck for about three years.)

In addition to a $1,000+ repair to the Silver Bullet--which had to be done twice, because the first time the new part that was installed was defective (oh, great)--I got stuck with a $600+ repair to our 2010 Toyota Highlander. This fix is finally getting done after a surreal series of events at the Toyota dealership that had been servicing our car for the last five years or so. I didn't know that mutinies could happen at car dealers, but apparently they can. And that's what happened at my trusted dealer when all of their service people up and quit, forcing me to track down another dealer to fix my car.

What the fuck?

I know. Car repairs are, unfortunately, a part of life, but why do they always seem to rear their ugly heads at the worst possible times? I guess there's never really a good time to fork over money you don't have to fix a car. But knowing that doesn't help much. It still hurts like hell. I suppose I should just be grateful that both cars are fixable. Right??

Another bizarre thing happened to me the other day. I had ordered a sheep toilet paper holder from an online store I'd never ordered from before. It was scheduled to show up on Saturday and I was pretty excited to get it and hang it up. (Yes, things like that can be exciting when you're old.) When the postal carrier dropped off the package, I eagerly tore it open, only to find...some kind of garden sculpture made from a bunch of rocks.

Oh, great.

This is the first time anything like this had ever happened to me. The packing slip said "sheep toilet paper holder," but someone upstairs figured they'd have a laugh at my expense and sent me a box of rocks instead. Either that or someone in the Houzz warehouse was having a very bad day when they filled my order. Regardless, I couldn't help but feel a little bit like Charlie Brown on Halloween.

Other weird things have happened this month, too. I just can't remember them all. (Another side effect of getting old.) But all of the things added up make me feel like I've just been out of sync with the universe this month. When I look in the mirror lately, I half expect to see a "check engine" light glowing right smack dab in the middle of my forehead.

*sigh*

There are only two days left in November, and I can't wait for it to be over. Here's hoping December brings with it a reboot and a healthy, positive resynchronization in my world.

"Sometimes you are in sync with the times, sometimes you are in advance, sometimes you are late." --Bernardo Bertolucci

P.S. I ended up ordering the sheep toilet paper holder from another place and it arrived today. I have to say, I really like it! It adds a bit of whimsy to an otherwise boring bathroom wall. Not only that, but my wife is a knitter, so the whole "sheep" thing is a perfect fit for our crazy house. 

Baaaaaaa!

1 comment:

  1. OMG I'm so happy to hear that I'm not the only one that thought November was a crazy month! From people bumping my car and driving away, to actually feeling like my body and my brain belonged to different people! All I can say is that I'm glad it's December, now I just have to make it through the festive season without acting out or tongue lashing anyone. Bring on 2018!

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